I was determined to follow a different path and not allow history to repeat itself – for the third time. I had 13 years and a lot more life experience under my belt, which gave me the strength and wisdom to develop these 10 habits to direct me to happiness and success after divorce:
I have spent the last 19 years raising my kids by myself, which has taught me more than I could ever possibly write about what is really important. So in the holiday spirit, I share the 12 things I wish for this coming year.
I had gone through the divorce from hell but I still hoped to find that elusive and special woman that I could spend the rest of my life with. I hadn’t dated in over twelve years, but with a lot more life experience and little more confidence, I thought I would have a relatively easy time at it.
It was late 1996 and my marriage and family life I dreamt of was ending. My wife of 8 years and mother of our 5 small children was gone. The emotional strain of it all caused me to let myself go and I weighed on the wrong side of 300lbs. I felt undesirable, and I feared I may be alone forever.
When I was little boy growing up in the New Jersey suburbs, my idea of a what it took to be a man was formed by the stereotypes I watched in the movies and on TV. I wanted to be a combination of Dirty Harry, James Bond (Sean Connery only) and the Fonz.
It was late 1996 and my marriage and family life I dreamt of was ending. My wife of 8 years and mother of our 5 small children was gone. Our children had borne the brunt of this. The next few years of my life were filled with court dates, forensic accountants and custody evaluators.
Give me liberty or give me a hot dog and a beer. It’s good to have an option. In the heat of roaring BBQ’s and deafening sounds and bright flashes from fireworks, it’s easy to forget what the 4th of July is all about – An independence hard fought and earned that started from a dream.
And then our keynote speaker, Vicente Fox, the former President of Mexico spoke. What, I wondered, would his talk have to do with clever marketing? “There’s no limit to what you can do in your life with a purpose,” he said, “but it is a purpose that has to be…
No, it’s not the beginning of a joke. Yes that really happened. This past fall I was sitting at the bar of a Manhattan restaurant next to my friend, Adam Jacobs, who is a Rabbi at Aish Center, New York. We were having a cold beverage to celebrate the premiere of his documentary.
One of the personality traits that successful parents develop is the ability to multitask. I don’t mean the normal kind of multitasking that one does at work where you complete an expense report while on the phone with the copier salesperson. I mean the kind of “multitasking on steroids” that allows you to handle multiple children at varying age levels, while having little sleep for extended periods of time.