Whether it’s one of my published articles or whether I speak in front of thousands, small groups or counsel individuals, I get asked the same questions over and over again – the same ones I see daily on my social media too. And here are a few examples:
• I’ve never heard of a man raising five little kids on his own. How did you survive?
• How were you able to run a successful business and manage that household?
• Did you treat your girls differently than your boys?
• How could you find the time or energy to date?
• Were women willing to date a single dad with sole custody of 5 kids?
• Most men don’t know how to ask for help. Could you?
• Why aren’t you angry?
• How did you discover your spiritual side?
• You seem so positive and your life is so full and meaningful. How are you able to have such a big life?
• You are the first single-dad I know that has written and spoken so extensively about his journey? What drove you to do that?
I wrote Leader of the Pack because there are millions of people who have those same questions (and many more) and I am the one man who has the unique life experience and a willingness to openly speak and write about it.
Women who read my writing, hear me speak or watch my videos, cry, laugh, and thank me for sharing an emotional and visceral side of manhood they rarely, if ever, get to see. They tell me they have never seen a man who understands motherhood so well. They are also captivated by my uniquely male approach to mothering. Men give me a thumbs-up, a manly fist-bump and a “thank you.” And they reach out to me for advice on parenting, divorce, dating or just how to make it all work and have a life they can enjoy.
However, what I get asked the most by both women and men is, “When is your book coming out? I need to read it now.”
When the sh-t hit the fan in my life, I, without warning, was thrown into the insane circumstance of raising my five kids (one still in diapers) by myself after their mother and my wife abandoned us. I was about as equipped to do that as to fly a fighter jet, but I had no choice. But my story is way more than one of a single-dad of five, it’s about how one can find themselves in the fires of hell and make it back again – better and stronger than before – and with a message that inspires and transforms other people’s lives – emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I was unprepared, overwhelmed, broke, and often depressed and I was sure I would not live through the experience. With five kids under eight years old to care for, a large business to run, a court system bent on bankrupting me, all I saw was a 20-year jail term ahead of me, ending with me old, broke, and broken. I saw a heart attack or stroke in my future stemming from the stress and exhaustion and heartbreak – in particular from seeing the pain my children were experiencing. It really did feel like I was walking on my lips through a busted glass and I felt that way for years.
Finally, though, one day, it was over…