Treat Your Wife Better in Divorce Than When You Were Together

Published on The Good Men Project 6/25/2016

Here’s a message to men who are going through a divorce: Start treating your wife better now than you treated her when you were together. I know you are frustrated and are fantasizing about doing something bad to her, but you have to start thinking smart and that is the thing you have to do to get what you want. And what you should want is to win your divorce. Because losing could lead to a miserable life for you.

When your marriage is falling apart, your relationship with your wife can get very emotional, traumatic, and difficult. You may feel like she is just being ridiculously cruel and mean to you. That woman you were madly in love with is now just a mean bitch. She may be unreasonable and using the children against you. She maybe be calling you names, telling neighbors and friends things about you that aren’t true. She may even be telling those things to your children. And since you are not getting sex from her there is no point being nice. In fact, you might as well get your money’s worth and be as cruel to her as you can.

It’s the perfect time to hook up with a 22-year-old hottie and let your ex see you with her, right?

Wrong!

Bad behavior by my ex never justifies bad behavior from me. Repeat that again to yourself right now and repeat that every day as your daily affirmation. Bad behavior is only going to hurt you in the long run. I guarantee it. There are many times in life when men need to be aggressive, but being aggressive with your ex will only cause you big problems. By taking the high road you will increase the odds you will get what you want with money, your kids, the courts and more. By always taking the high road and being nice to your ex, you are not being a wimp, you are being strategic.

Having been divorced twice, with my first wife leaving our five children permanently and going through a divorce of epic legal proportions, I have learned a few things along the way. And one of them is divorce can be extremely unfair and cruel. You feel lost, alone and as if the entire world and legal system is against you. You lost your relationship and marriage, you have fear of losing your children and as a result, you are left with what seems like the only option you have available and that is to seek revenge on your soon-to-be ex.

That’s a strategy that is going to take you to very bad places. And in fact will likely cost you big money in your divorce, could even jeopardize your rights and time with you children and if you go too far (in her mind) you could be doing push-ups behind bars with a new best friend named Bubba.

Divorce is big business. It’s big business for lawyers, psychiatrists, real estate agents, house sale specialists and women who seek big judgements from their soon to be ex’s. As such, you need to start treating your divorce like a business deal that is going bad and you need to be super smart and in control to turn it around.

It serves absolutely no benefit to you, other than a quick feel better, to be mean to your ex. In fact, you want to schmooze her and deescalate the situation as much as possible. You want her to actually think you are a changed man and that maybe she actually doesn’t want to divorce you. Make her think she’s making a mistake. While she’s thinking that she’s a whole lot less likely to try and wipe your sorry ass off the planet. If you parade that 22-year-old hottie around, she’s going to become so angry and so vindictive she will likely do wild things – things that might even hurt herself monetarily, just to see you annihilated.

You should view her like a hard-to-sell customer that you have to woo. Woo her with kindness into a submissive position. She will test your new-found attitude. But you are not going to be pushed into confrontation. You are going to maintain control over every situation and make logical choices about how you handle your divorce and how you interact with her.

I know you are thinking that I don’t understand how mean and crazy she is. It’s almost impossible to maintain composure with her, you want to tell me. Well it’s time to decide whether you really want to win your divorce, keep your money and kids and get to that big life you are going to have after it’s all over. How badly do you want that? Well if you want it bad enough, you will find the mental and emotional strength within you to do whatever it is required.

It requires you to man up and start treating your wife better in divorce than when you were together. That’s how you win.

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