Four Areas To Focus On When Your Are Struggling To Be A Couple As Well As Parents
At its worst, the stress of raising a family can easily turn couples against each other which seriously impacts how they feel about one another. Sometimes leaving massive doubt as to whether they should be together.
This makes it important to look after your relationship after you start a family. The temptation can let your relationship drift down the list of priorities, after all, you have plenty of other things to worry about.
However, when you really think about it, it’s the times like these, the stressful times, that you need a strong relationship. So what can you do? Let’s have a look at some of the things you need to should consider.
This is probably the most obvious change. Most couples find that they have a huge change in their sleep when they have kids, especially in the first few months with a new baby. Less sleep equals less energy, and much less patience, and a higher chance of arguing.
Each couple may be affected by this differently. You may be one of the lucky couples whose baby sleeps through the night straight away. Or you may have a toddler who after years of battles still has a disrupted sleeping pattern or early morning wakeup. One thing you can control is how you work as a team.
It is essential for you to treat the problem of sleep as a team. The majority of this comes down to communication and planning. Sit down, and decide how you are going to do things when the kids wake in the middle of the night. Plan to take turns. If things are getting too much, try taking it in turns to have a morning or night off. Don’t forget to make use of friends and family to babysit once in a while so you can get some rest.
Talking is one of the most if not important parts of any relationship, and it becomes even more important when you have a family together.
Talking isn’t just about coming up with practical solutions to any problems (although this is certainly part of it. It about reconnecting, checking in on one another, and feeling close. Even if it’s talking about something you have read such as an article by James Harden or something that has happened at work, talking gives you the chance to express and also find out things about your partner. It provides you with the opportunity to speak and hear your partner’s difficulties or worries.
If you feel like you are short of time, try your hardest to make the time. It may mean setting aside half an hour end the end of the day, having a chat in bed, or sitting down to enjoy breakfast every day. Going for a walk once a week could be a great way to settle into a proper conversation.
Just like negotiating around difficulties. You must be able to communicate openly about any issues you’re experiencing, this way you can deal with them together. Your partner may feel unsupported or overwhelmed, and without good conversation, you would be none the wiser.
Being able to say what you need to directly, and work through things together, will be a crucial way for you to get past any bumps into the parenting journey you are taking together.
With much less time on your hands, planning ahead becomes essential. A big part of maintaining a healthy relationship is creating time to have fun together. Make sure you put some time to one side to do that. Whether it’s date nights, a few nights away, or meeting for lunch during the day, these little, fun moments together are positive ways to bring back variety to your routine and spend some needed quality time together.
If you are feeling completely worn out, don’t feel as though you have to go out. A date night could just be a pizza, movies, and snuggling on the sofa. The same applies to planning things, they don’t need to be big plans, they just need to be a plan. Even a plan to make time for intimacy is an essential part of staying strong when you are parents.
Finally, but not least, you need to remember to be forgiving. Go easy on each other. Being a parent can be difficult, you are constantly needed. You are both likely to make mistakes along the way. Whether it’s snapping, arguing, or being a little distant, remember that you are both on this journey together, and it’s not always meant.
Sometimes, being kind to each other is better, and when appropriate, just let it go. Part of caring for someone is accepting that they won’t always get things right. If there is something that is really bothering you, or you feel as though you or your partner are snapping more than you should, sit down and talk about it. It is much better to have things out in the open to work through than burying them under the rug.
Communication is the key to a happy family, there are many parents who struggle to come to terms with having a new baby and taking care of themselves as a couple when they are parents. So, it is important for you to remember that you are not alone. Talk to your partner and put some time into working through parenting together,
Try to talk to your partner about your feelings as much as you can. Do you have any other tips that could help couples who are new parents? Please share them in the comments below.
Categories: Outside Contributors