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5 Ways to Protect Yourself When Your Marriage Isn’t Working

5 Ways to Protect Yourself When Your Marriage Isn’t Working

Everyone’s marriage is different, and many factors may lead to it not working. Some people may need some time away from their spouse, while others might want a divorce. Regardless of why your marriage is not working, dealing with the situation will protect your mental and emotional health.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

If the relationship is physically or emotionally abusive, leave as soon as you can. However, many reasons may lead to unfulfillment, anger, and resentment in marriage. Here are ways you can protect yourself when it doesn’t work out:

Get a Separation Agreement

A separation agreement is drawn before taking any legal action against your spouse. The separation agreement sets the ground rules for what happens if the marriage ends. It will include the custody of any children, financial issues, and visitation arrangements.

However, a simple agreement between the two partners can set the ground rules. You can decide who temporarily leaves the house while the other partner becomes the primary caregiver. During the separation, ask yourself;

  • Can my spouse file for divorce without me knowing? Talk to an expert to understand your rights.
  • Can the marriage be salvaged?
  • What’s causing the issues, and what’s the best way forward- divorce or reconciliation.
  • How is marriage affecting the children?
  • Is a divorce a better solution for everyone involved?

Prepare your Finances

After a separation, it is essential to know how you’ll both handle the responsibilities such as taxes, child support, and mortgage payments. Note that your financial life will be affected if you plan to move out of the house. 

You’ll have to cater to extra costs such as food and accommodation expenses. Make sure you have enough money to take care of your added expenses. Even when you’re the one left in the house while your partner moves out, they may not be able to support you financially as they did when living together. Talk about the expenses and agree on how to share the responsibility

Look for a Support Group

Join a local support group for people who have been through similar situations. There are plenty of people going through hard times and rely on support groups. Joining a group will help you feel less alone. 

It can also be a great place to get advice from people who have been through similar experiences and learn how they coped with their situation. Talking or sharing will ease your pain, and you’ll get faster relief.

Sometimes, it’s not easy to open up about your issues to friends and family, but a support group gives you the confidence you need to make the changes or take the steps required to protect your peace of mind. 

Get Busy

When you are distracted or busy, you tend to think less of the hurtful things happening in your marriage. You also tend to accommodate less negative feelings of self-doubt that destroy self-esteem. 

A distraction can be anything like taking a walk, painting, going for a drive, cooking a meal, watching television, or reading a book.

If you’re feeling sad and stuck in your marriage, then do something that makes you feel better. When you’re making positive changes in your life, you tend to have fewer pity parties.  

If you are a stay-at-home parent, think of a business idea that will keep you busy and distracted. The good thing about starting a business is that you’ll be more financially independent if you get divorced. 

Take Better Care of Yourself

Stress, emotional pain, and anxiety can take a toll on your physical health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or emotionally drained, stop everything else and concentrate on yourself. Many people going through a rough marriage tend to neglect their well-being. 

They result in comfort foods to feed the emotional emptiness, become lazy, carefree, and ignore their kids and businesses. Others result in substance abuse. 

Remember to eat healthy foods and make time for exercise to avoid developing depression-related conditions like type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure.

Seek Counseling

Therapy is a good option if you feel like your life is quickly spiraling out of control. Simply meeting with a therapist for one session can help put things in perspective. Therapy will help you find balance and gain control of your life again.

If all else fails, it’s time to get out of the marriage if there is a pattern of abuse, adultery, or addiction. This is not an easy decision to make, but sometimes it’s necessary for your health and safety. 

It may be hard at first, especially for the kids, but eventually, they will appreciate how much better off they are with two healthy parents who love and support them. Note that a divorce can be emotionally and mentally draining and can use up your finances. Be prepared. 

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