Divorce & Marriage

How To Find Love Again After Divorce

How To Find Love Again After Divorce

Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay

How To Find Love Again After Divorce

Divorce is hard. Even if you know in your heart of hearts that it’s for the best, it will still take its toll on you. It’s likely that you’ll need a lot of time before you can even think about dating again.

However, that doesn’t mean you should give up on love. Many people go on to find better, healthier relationships after divorce. When you’re ready to start thinking about romance again, here are some tips for dipping your toes back into the dating scene.

Give Yourself Time To Grieve

Make no mistake- your divorce will feel like a death. It’s not just the end of your relationship with your spouse but the end of life as you know it. You may need to learn to live on your own again and you may need to deal with how your children are feeling about your spouse living in a different home.

Giving yourself time to grieve will put you in a better position to step out into the dating world and make the most of what life has to offer. It’s also important to make sure that your kids are ready to see you with someone new too.

Recognize Why Your Marriage Failed

There could be many reasons why your marriage failed but it’s important to recognize them. The last thing you want to do is repeat mistakes you’ve already made with someone else. When you know what went wrong, you can avoid getting into a relationship with someone who may do the same things.

Take what you have learned from your marriage and apply it all to your dating. It will help you find the right person for you.

Rekindle An Old Romance

Some feelings die hard. Perhaps you remember someone you dated in your teens or someone you met while on vacation. Now is your chance to explore if those feelings were real for the both of you.

You may not be in touch but thanks to the wonder of the world wide web, it’s easier than ever to find someone you once knew. Look at how to trace someone for tips on finding people you haven’t seen for years. It could just be your happy ending.

Go Slow

It’s easy to get carried away when romance is new but you should take your time. Make sure you get to know someone before involving them in your life too deeply. Talk about your values and beliefs.

Talk about your hopes and goals for the future. Find ways to communicate well with each other and find activities that you like to do together. Most importantly, talk about where you both stand with marriage and having children.

Online Dating

If you have no luck dating face-to-face, online dating could be an option for you. There are tons of online dating websites and apps that could find you exactly what you’re looking for. However, you should be vigilant when using dating sites. 

Not everyone is who they say they are. Go with your gut instinct before agreeing to meet someone in person. You should also bear in mind that it can be a long process and you may have to kiss some frogs before finding your prince.

How To Find Love Again After Divorce

Get Out And About

When you get a divorce, you may not feel like socializing for a while. It can be tempting to isolate yourself which is often a form of self-protection. Be sure to give yourself as much time as you need but when you’re feeling more like yourself, it can help to get out and join in social activities.

Maybe you want to join the local gym or a fitness class. Perhaps you’ve always thought about further education. Most importantly, get out for dinner with friends and family. You never know where you could meet your perfect match.

Ask Someone To Set You Up

It’s often the case that the people who know you best will be able to choose a suitable partner for you. Maybe the people you choose to date aren’t always the best choices and now you’re ready to put the choice in someone else’s hands. It could be a family member or a friend and maybe they already have the perfect choice in mind.

It may mean that you end up going on a blind date but sometimes these leaps of faith can pay off. If you are set up on a blind date with someone, remember to just enjoy yourself and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date.

Hire A Matchmaker

There are times when an unbiased opinion can help. If you’re having trouble finding someone compatible and you don’t want your nearest and dearest to set you up, a matchmaker is a great alternative. You’ll be paired with people who match your interests and values and are heading in the same direction as you.

Remember, matchmakers want to be successful because the more success they have in matching people, the more business they get. Find someone with plenty of success and experience to ensure you get some great matches.

Stay Safe

Whether it’s a blind date, an online date, or a date from a matchmaker, it’s vital that you take steps to stay safe. Make a plan with family or friends before going to meet someone you’ve never met before. Ensure you have everything you need with you, like your phone, cards, and a full tank of gas if you’re driving.

If you feel unsafe, send a code message to someone expecting to hear from you so they know you want to leave. Make a quick exit and call your nominated someone while making your way back to the car.

Make Sure Your Needs Are Met

Many marriages end because the needs of each individual are no longer being met. As you look for a new partner, make sure that your needs are always being met. Although being in a relationship requires give and take, this is a time to look after you.

Being too giving can mean that your new partner gets used to taking too much and then you find yourself in a position where you’re unhappy. Set your boundaries early and stick to them.

Get a Counselor

Coming out of a divorce, however amicable it is, requires some healing. You won’t be able to date again until you’ve found peace and put the past to rest. Broken relationships can take a toll on your emotional, mental, and physical health.

It can help to see a counselor or therapist and talk through your experiences so you can move forward in the best way possible. This is the best place to start to think about what you’re looking for in a future partner and stick to those realizations when you’re dating. As you start to date, your counselor can help you to figure out if they are the right people for you.


Dating after marriage is a whole new ball game. You may feel a mixture of excitement and insecurity as you start to date again. You may also look back at things you’ve got wrong and automatically put a wall up when it comes to loving again.

The bottom line is that you need to be brave when attempting to date after marriage. It’s a great time to let your hair down and have some fun. Remember to relax and be yourself so your partners can see the best in you.

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How To Find Love Again After Divorce

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