Parenting & Fatherhood

I Got the Wedding of My Dreams

I Got the Wedding of My Dreams

My oldest daughter Michelle got married two weeks ago at a scenic venue overlooking Tel Aviv and the Mediterranean Sea. We had the wedding ceremony and reception with a few close family members and friends after spending several days touring and enjoying Israel. I know destination weddings are now trendy, but that had little to do with our decision to have the wedding there.

View from the Wedding

As the single and sole parent of my 5 children, I have learned that it is ok to sometimes do things differently than the so-called traditional way. In my recent blog, “No Friggin Way I’m Taking Them to Chuck E. Cheese,” I wrote about how I realized I didn’t have to be exactly like a mom, I could do the things with my children that I wanted to and still have a BIG life of my own.

Picking a wedding venue is certainly more significant than picking a place to have a kiddie birthday party. However, I applied a similar thought process as I did 18 years ago. I have a very small extended family and very few close friends. There was no friggin way I was going to spend a new BMW’s worth of dough to have a 5 hour drinking party for 250 or more of our “closest” friends, distant family (some of which I haven’t seen for years nor will I see for years to come), and never-to-be-seen-again in-law family at some banquet hall here in New Jersey.  At $10,000+ per hour, my sense was, we just wouldn’t get our money’s worth in terms of quality time and memories for me and my 5 kids and new son-in-law. I am not saying that having a traditional wedding is a bad thing. I am saying it seemed like me and my adult kids could do something better for us.

All of us!

What is good is when I do meaningful things for the ones I love. We wanted the wedding to be an opportunity for all of us – my new son-in-law, Michelle and her 4 siblings to spend some quality time together. They are very close and as each have gone off to college, moved to different states, and now the times when they can all be together are infrequent. Michelle’s wedding became an opportunity for the 7 of us to spend a week together, make some new memories, and make the most meaningful time possible out of the most important day of Michelle’s life.

I have learned to never be afraid to think out of the box and do something unconventional as a parent. I frequently remind myself that the only ones I need to please are myself and my kids. Looking back at our unforgettable week in Israel, I know with certainty, that we made the right decision to have the wedding there. Both Michelle and I got the wedding of our dreams.

Tel Aviv Beach

 

 

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3 replies »

  1. Mazal ToV! Amazing journey..I am so glad that you could all get together & celebrate it, specially in Israel! Sounds lotSsss of Funnnnn

  2. (THIS reply is the correct one here. previous one misplaced). re: wedding: you made the right choice! congratulations! ( reminds me of the SAME exact reasoning and choice we made for our 25 anniversary! the money was better spent with CLOSE friends at a favorite island, not an impersonal big nj party )…and, who knew? a half a year later, I was battlingi cancer…so we kept saying we were glad we did the celebration the way we did!)

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