In this podcast, I am talking with a dad who is going through some rough time. We talk about how to stay – can we stay? – A good father when our kids challenge us greatly. And what’s the take home message? The love of a child by a father can transcend everything.
Going through a divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences anyone can have. For men in particular, there is little support available and many men feel emasculated if they seek help. I had no one that I could ask for guidance, and I didn’t even know where to look.
I now realize the decisions I was making when I was in college would actually set in motion much of the course my life would take. I am desperate for my kids to make smarter decisions than I did and so I frequently give them fatherly advice about the decisions they are making…
We met at Steve’s New Jersey suburban home. It’s about 20 minutes from where the New York Giants play in East Rutherford, New Jersey. I got there when Steve was driving up with his wife and family in his big SUV. I immediately had a flashback to about 20 years ago…
My 5 children are now all over 20 years old. All 5 have gone through the anxiety of applying to colleges and the apprehension of waiting to receive an acceptance and financial award. All 6 went to one of the best public schools in the country; known for its placement of students in top colleges.
I remember looking at them back then and imagining a future when all of them had graduated from college. They would all be on their own, financially independent, married and with children. I thought of them scattered across the country…
I was determined to follow a different path and not allow history to repeat itself – for the third time. I had 13 years and a lot more life experience under my belt, which gave me the strength and wisdom to develop these 10 habits to direct me to happiness and success after divorce:
I had gone through the divorce from hell but I still hoped to find that elusive and special woman that I could spend the rest of my life with. I hadn’t dated in over twelve years, but with a lot more life experience and little more confidence, I thought I would have a relatively easy time at it.
When I was little boy growing up in the New Jersey suburbs, my idea of a what it took to be a man was formed by the stereotypes I watched in the movies and on TV. I wanted to be a combination of Dirty Harry, James Bond (Sean Connery only) and the Fonz.
I was hoping the movie would portray a single-dad positively and break the stereotype that men are unemotional, materialistic and unable to parent effectively by themselves. Unfortunately, the dad was portrayed as clueless and was so level-headed he seemed to be devoid of all emotion.