Seeing Your Partner During A Pandemic – Is It Selfish?

For couples that don’t live together, times are hard right now. Some may not be able to leave the house at all if they are auto-immune or have underlying health issues, and even if you are ok to leave the house, meeting with people outside of your own home is frowned upon. Unfortunately, you can’t live however you like right now. You may not pick up the virus, but you may be a carrier of it, and if you’re doing your food shopping, flitting between houses and running other errands, there’s every chance that you could pick up the virus and pass it on. 

Seeing your partner and living the same way you always have is selfish. However, there are a few things you can do to keep your relationship alive during this testing time. 

Treat It Like A Long Distance Relationship

The first thing you can do is treat your relationship like a long distance relationship. If you truly love your partner then this shouldn’t be too difficult. Arrange to call or Skype/zoom with them each day, even if you just catch up for 10 minutes. 

Send pictures and text updates, and even arrange online ‘dates’ and Netflix parties. This can help the two of you to stay connected and feel close even when you’re far apart. This may challenge the both of you, but you will likely learn a lot about yourself and the relationship, and have a very good idea of whether this is truly the right person for you moving forward. 

Move In Together 

The other option is to move in together. Many people have agreed to fast track their relationships right now so that they can prioritize their connection and avoid falling out of love. This will also present some challenges – there’s a big difference between seeing each other 3 or 4 days a week, or even every evening, and seeing each other all day every day. If you’re not accustomed to one another’s foibles and annoying habits yet, you soon will be. Living together is the true test of a relationship, as the things you once found endearing can quickly become annoying. If you can make it through this, then you can make it through anything. 

Time Apart Is Healthy 

Continuing your relationship like nothing has changed is probably the most stupid thing you could do right now. Many people are continuing as normal but they are putting their families, loved ones, members of the public and themselves at risk. Churches that have refused to close have spread the virus, with a cluster of three-dozen cases. One cough can create 3,000 droplets, which in turn can quickly spread the virus. This isn’t something we should be taking risks with. 

As much as you love your partner and want to see them, time apart is a healthy way to get to know yourself again and avoid depending on the relationship for validation/entertainment. Use this time to work on yourself and your hobbies and when you and your partner reunite, it’ll be all the sweeter.