How to Have a Successful First date
There are so many unknowns on a first date, like what the person you’ve been messaging is actually like and if you will genuinely like them. There is also some pressure to meet the expectations of a first date and ensure it all goes to plan without any disasters. A little planning and insight can go a long way on a first date, so read on and digest the tips below – good luck!
Keep it Simple
If you’ve ever been to speed dating, then you’ll know the importance of the first date. You’ll also know how often you meet someone who isn’t right, and you swiftly move on. It’s the same for more formally arranged dates, don’t go all out.
Think about it rationally. If you spend lots of time preparing the perfect romantic dinner to impress someone and they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you want, it’s a lot of wasted time, effort, and enterprise.
Keep your first dates simple. Meet in the city center for a coffee or lunch, nothing too extravagant. If you want to pick them up, make sure you custom car fresheners ready to make a great impression – there’s nothing worse than a stale-smelling car.
Take out the Stress
There will always be some stress on your first dates. There is the stress of meeting someone new, along with the added pressure of knowing there is an expectation on you to some extent. You also have to keep your rational hat on, hard to do when there’s stress in your system.
So how do you take the stress out of a first date and try to relax? After all, a relaxed situation is probably going to serve you both far better than sitting at a table with sweaty palms. One way is through the organization. Plan the evening carefully in advance, so there are few surprises.
If you have dinner with your date, sit at a right angle to them. This is a more comfortable way to communicate at; first, it takes the pressure off either of you to speak and allows you to people watch from time to time.
Limit Digital Interactions
Internet dating has been on a bit of a journey. For years it was frowned upon and seen as a bit desperate, but now it’s the most natural thing to do. Where else would you meet someone except online?
While meeting someone online might be convenient, it isn’t always the best way to take things forward. A digital interaction can give you a sense of someone, but you won’t know if you want to date them until you properly interact.
Dating digitally also takes some of the fun and spontaneity out of the initial encounter, so the best advice is to use it wisely, with limitations.
Prepare Date Topics
If you wing anything in life, there is some chance of success but more chance of failure. Think of a job interview; for instance, It’s unlikely you would go to one without preparing questions.
A date isn’t a job interview and shouldn’t be treated as one; still, you’ll want to prepare for it with some interesting topics to discuss and answers you might give.
Having some topics in mind is a great way to engage your date when things go silent and potentially awkward. Since you have some idea of the topic already, it will put you in the conversational driving seat somewhat and give your confidence a boost.
Use Intelligent Listening
We’re the most interesting people in the world, aren’t we? At least we are to ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we will be interested in other people or our new dates. Don’t constantly talk, but don’t let them do all the talking either.
Both of these approaches are unlikely to work. They are quite simply bad communication styles. What you need is a balance between listening and speaking. Show your date you are listening by summarizing what they say and ask a follow-up question.
An example of this in action might be, “ oh, you lived in Japan for five years, that’s so cool! What was it like?”
It only takes a few moments of interacting for someone to form an opinion of you. These opinions are malleable; they can change, which is a good thing if you turn up to a first date wearing an old baseball cap. Still, first impressions count double.
Make an effort on your first date. Try to smile as much as you can without looking awkward or creepy. A genuine natural smile will release endorphins and make you feel happy; this smile will also catch on leave a great first impression.
Your dress sense will also be under the microscope on a first date. Once again, you have to find the balance between the occasion and the authenticity of you. Remember that some people may not appreciate your style, but that doesn’t make it bad or unworthy.
Be the True You
In this digital world where people are comparing themselves constantly, it can be so hard to know who you truly are and to appreciate that person as valid and worthy of love. The trouble is that standards are created, then others feel as if they aren’t enough when that standard isn’t met.
But this isn’t the path to lasting happiness anyway. Lasting happiness is a relationship created between two people who share a connection and have a natural affinity for each other. Try to avoid conventional standards and connect with how you truly feel.
It’s all over. The date that is, hopefully not the potential girlfriend or boyfriend. The next step is to arrange a second date if you feel like you like the person enough to take things further. This can be done right away but try not to put your date on the spot.
It’s much better to leave the second date until later. Send a follow-up text talking about what a great tie you had and how you would like to see them again. However, don’t put too much pressure on them and don’t expect a reply too soon.
Categories: Dating & Relationships, Outside Contributors
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