Some Of The Most Common Reasons For Marital Breakdowns
There’s no such thing as an easy marriage, that much should be clear to anyone who has spent any amount of time in them. Even when things are going as smoothly as possible, the reality of two individuals starting a life and family together is bound to hit some bumps. However, when do you know when what seems like a bump is actually a chasm that could swallow up the whole marriage? Here are some of the most common reasons that marriages break down.
Infidelity in the marriage
Now, this isn’t going to be a very surprising choice for many people. Cheating often leads to the end of relationships and that’s the same when it comes to infidelity. However, it’s also important to know that there are different types of infidelity. It doesn’t have to be a physical relationship, you can also cheat emotionally on your spouse. If someone else is taking their place as the person you think about, talk to, and confide in above all others, you could be as guilty as someone who cheats physically, and the same goes for your spouse. Think about the questions that can help you identify whether they are cheating. It is possible for a lot of people to forgive a spouse for such an indiscretion, but that’s the decision of the other partner.
The breakdown of communication
As you get further into your marriage, a lot of things that were new and exciting about your partner become part of everyday life. Things that may not have bothered you can become annoyances resting in the back of your head. You may feel less inclined to hear their opinions or thoughts, or even to share yours with them. This breakdown of communication can be a death sentence, and it can lead to misunderstandings and differences of opinion in the marriage that can blow up unless they are properly addressed. It’s a good idea to see a marriage counselor if communication has dried up, as they may be able to open up those lines again.
The diminishing role of romance in the relationship
It’s a stereotype that intimacy tends to become rarer and rarer as marriage goes on. While that may be the case for some people, it is by no means the rule for everyone. Declines in intimacy can result in a feeling of a lessening connection with your partner. What’s more, they can help to set the stage for infidelity from one of you or another. You can take efforts to bring the magic back into the marriage, but sometimes there is a deeper root if you have trouble engaging a partner romantically, be it their mental health, self-image, or some other problem that you may need to communicate about.
It’s a problem that has only started to crop up seriously within the past couple of generations. Our parents and grandparents didn’t have to compete with the internet, after all. Overuse of technology can strain relationships, to the point that a majority of women blame smartphones for having ruined a relationship in the past. Addiction to the internet is a serious problem that is going underinvestigated at the moment, and you can find yourself having to compete for attention with a screen. Of course, one partner being glued to their screen, be it the smartphone, video games, or otherwise, opens up the path for a breakdown of communication, infidelity, and a general decrease of intimacy, as well.
Isolation and loneliness
Some people make big changes for the person that they marry and for their relationship, including moving halfway across the country or even to a new country. However, when you give someone else a permanent place in their life, they can take up space that might have gone to friends and family instead. This increasing isolation and separation from the other people you care for can lead to resentment, which is a leading cause for a split. Some people choose their partner over a lifestyle they were not satisfied in, but others should be concerned if they feel like their spouse is shrinking their social circle and perhaps even consider a divorce. Controlling and separating behavior can be classified as abuse.
Anger and conflict
We all have disagreements in a marriage, it’s only natural. However, if they are starting to become more and more common, or perhaps more vicious and hurtful in nature, then it can be a sign that something is going wrong. If it is a truly hostile marriage and you are starting to fear for your safety, then you might need to look into domestic abuse hotlines and resources that can help you ensure your safety first and foremost. For most marriages, it doesn’t go that far, and you may simply need to learn how to communicate and even argue in a healthy way with your partner. No relationship can suffer increasing and consistent hostility without being affected by it.
A difference in vision
It’s important to have some big talks with your spouse before marriage. You should talk about whether you want children, where you want to live, how much of a priority each person’s career is, how you’re going to manage finances, deal with household labor, and so on. If you can’t do it before marriage or neglect to, then doing it ASAP after marrying is a good idea. It often happens that couples neglect to talk too much about their plans for the future, which can lead each partner to have a specific idea about what their ideal married life might look like. Sometimes, compromise can be found on these differences but when it comes to things like one partner wanting children and the other not wanting any, it can cause a major rift.
If the above issues are affecting your marriage, it may be possible to save it. However, depending on how far things go, you should be prepared for the event that a solution is not so easy (or even possible) to find. Protect yourself and your family no matter hwat.
Categories: Outside Contributors
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