4 Ways Parents Can Cause Issues For Their Kids In Later Life
As a parent, you have a duty to your children. That’s why you try to teach them the life lessons they require to be successful in later life, not only in a financial sense but in a happiness sense too. 99.9999% of fathers do what they think is best for their kids, and don’t mean to do anything harmful.
Still, no one is perfect, and side-effects do occur. Even worse, people only realize them later on when it’s harder to change because the impacts are ingrained. For parents, the idea they are to blame for some of the children’s behavior wracks them with guilt. It’s almost as if you’ve done the opposite of what you intended.
However, this shouldn’t scare you into submission. Instead, understanding the effects you might have as a parent should make you recognize the need to isolate the issues and come up with solutions. That way, you will do everything in your power to set up your loved ones for the rest of their lives.
To do it, it’s essential to focus on the most problematic areas. Therefore, here are four common mistakes parents can make that cause issues for their kids in the future.
It’s normal to be protective, especially when your children are young. There are tons of hazards in life, and it’s imperative that children learn which ones to avoid for the sake of their wellbeing. Sadly, being overbearing can make kids less independent than their friends and peers, something that’s unhealthy when they fly the nest.
A prime example is not understanding the basics of living alone. Whether it’s a house, car, or job, they’ll need help with everything, which will go against them at some point. A boss doesn’t want a person they can’t trust to work independently, for instance.
Also, there is the risk of imbibing your kids with anxiety. After all, they’ll always think the worst if you do the same during the most impressionable period of their lives as children copy behaviors. The key is to strike a balance between watching them for the sake of their safety and letting them learn through their mistakes.
If you don’t, they’ll either grow up to be anxious or spoiled, and both are difficult traits to drop. With teenagers, there is more room to maneuver because they are bigger and savvier, and understand the dos and don’ts you have highlighted.
Avoiding Tough Questions
A cliche scenario involves a young child asking their mom or dad a difficult question. It can be about anything, from babies to why the sky is blue (it’s tough if you don’t know the answer), and the reaction is the same – you shrug your shoulders. To you, it’s an easy out since your children probably won’t ask a follow-up question.
To your kids, it’s another personality trait they will develop as they grow. The result is inevitable – they’ll shut down whenever they are asked questions they don’t understand or can’t answer. With so many controversial topics, this approach is only setting them up for a very big fall.
As a result, you need to be honest when you can, and you shouldn’t avoid topics because they are uncomfortable. Learning about LGBTQ conversion lawsuits will make them better informed while understanding how babies are made will make them more cautious at the appropriate time. If in doubt, you can admit you don’t have the answer and encourage them to find it.
The latter is imperative as it will highlight the thirst for knowledge, a critical aspect of learning and progression.
Giving In To Avoid A Scene
Every parent has been in a position where their child asserts their dominance in a public space. In the past, the threat of physical action was enough to keep kids in line, yet these powers have rightly been retracted in recent years. Of course, this leaves you with your powers of reasoning, which isn’t always helpful with young children.
The pertinent point to remember is not to give in because you want to avoid a scene. Although it’s a short-term solution, it teaches kids the power of behaving like spoiled brats. It might work on you, but it isn’t going to fly with other people who won’t put up with their attitude. Therefore, socializing and making friends could be challenging.
Talking to your child about their reaction is vital. As soon as they start crying, ask them why they are doing it, and explain your decision-making process. They might not stop, but at least they’ll learn the value of working through their issues. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you might have to wait out a screaming fit.
It’s uncomfortable, especially in a public place where people will judge. However, the short-term benefits are nothing compared to the future consequences your kids will have to deal with as an adult.
Refusing To Admit You’re Wrong
Admitting that you’re wrong isn’t a human impulse. Instead, you backtrack to cover your tracks. Parents do this with children a lot, even though it’s not as if kids hold it against adults. Maybe they do in later life, but this could be a reflection of your inability to hold your hands up and say sorry.
Refusing to admit you’re wrong is a type of stubbornness that isn’t very attractive or useful in social or professional circles. Yes, successful men and women are single-minded and trust their decisions. However, they do it through several processes, such as listening to other peoples’ opinions and looking at objective data.
A child who learns that their opinion is always correct, regardless of the situation, isn’t going to get very far before they run into obstacles. Thankfully, you can remedy this by gracefully admitting that you don’t understand or that there is a double-standard.
After all, the greatest asset kids can have is learning from their mistakes as it’s impossible to lead an error-free life.
What issues do you fear you will cause for your kids, and how will you nip them in the bud?
Categories: Outside Contributors, Parenting & Fatherhood
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